Being in my early forties - just, I have a lot of "friends" within this age group, say 40-55, who are wondering what's next. They have often achieved success within the corporate world and are now asking if this is all that life may have in store for them for the next decade, or is there some new, greater adventure waiting for them.
Most of them are hoping for a "burning platform" to present itself, one which will actually force them to jump, rather than taking the proactive leap for themselves. This may come in the form of a "restructure", early retirement, the "changing shape" of the workplace and a host of other unwelcome events.
The trick is to go looking for and to discover the new opportunity or challenge before it is forced upon you.
Truth is, we are hopelessly ill-equipped to deal with the new challenges of today's world. We are a frontier generation. We are living longer than ever, yet being forced to retire earlier. We work faster due to technology and harder due to unprecedented global competition. Markets today are the planet, rather than the city in which we live. The average corporate CEO has travelled more than Christopher Columbus and Vasco De Gama combined. They don't see themselves as explorers; they're just doing the job. Longer days, more pressure, listening harder, being more compassionate, faster turn-around times, cheaper rates, multi-tasking, and then at home, being a far more involved father, mother or partner... there's a whole lot of "giving" going on.
It is easy to lose oneself in all of this.
A good friend of mine said something seemingly shocking to me a few years back, "You know, Mike, sometimes you need to take, in order to give." For those of us that have been brought up to believe we live to serve, this can be brain-crushing stuff.
What do you mean "take"? It has a definite Oliver Twist ring to it: "More?!"
Here's the question then: who is currently writing the script for your life?
Is the play about you or have you given permission for the play to be about your company or family where you play one of the key or supporting roles [let's hope the script-writer doesn't kill the character off too early]. You can't say you never gave permission because, whether it is active or tacit, you have.
So, if the play were about you, and starring you in the lead role, with you as executive producer, director and script writer, how would you change your current story? What line would you write next? Would it be:
Joe turned to his boss and said, "You're right, I am a getting older but I need this job" or would it be, Joe considered his options. "Surely," he thought, "there must be more to life than this?" Joe stood up and walked out of that play and started writing a new one with a prettier cast, better prospects and a nicer environment?
I'm sure this is how a Bono, a Beckham, Richard Branson, Picasso or a Desmond Tutu live/d their lives. Never for a second, allowing anyone but themselves, to write their own scripts. As a great advertising line for Jaguar once said, "A copy of absolutely nothing."
There is also an over-reliance on research (and opinions) today in personal script writing. Research, as I see it, can often tell you what not to do, which is of course useful. It assesses risk more than it does opportunity. It is far more rear-view mirror than windscreen.
Leap of faith
The reason for this is that it asks people. Most people see what is, or what was or why not versus what could be. Nobody wants to give advice that could end in failure. To achieve greatness, we unfortunately need to take a leap of faith - in our own ability. The hard truth is that if you don't believe in yourself, nobody else will.
About seven years back, I had a rather calamitous health issue, and I was faced with a very real decision. Would I allow this uninvited guest to dictate the script for my life going forward or would I, not choosing all the cards I was dealt, decide how best to play the hand ie what was in my control.
A school acquaintance of mine, Alison, famous for her book and talks on surviving her rape and attempted murder, wrote something like "they came into my life without my permission and I was not going to give them permission to take anything more away from me". I have found this to be one of the most inspiring and liberating concepts I had ever encountered. A true notion of choice.
How many 50-70 year olds tell you about the people they once were? The jobs they once did. It's because the now, the present, may be a vacant pasture where nothing grows.
My grandfather retired as a dentist when he turned 60. He re-opened his practise when he was 60 and three days old, as he loved it and felt retirement was not for him. He practised for the following 21 years, operating a large and dynamic practise specialising in all the latest dental techniques. He did this because he remained fascinated and passionate.
Stockholm syndrome
How many of us find ourselves in jobs we tell ourselves we love? Are we victims of Stockholm syndrome? Have we simply fallen in love with our captors - the pre-written script of our employers, spouses or other subtle influencers or is this truly our passion area and sweet spot?
I have been incredibly fortunate to choose a career that I truly love. I changed my mind three times until I got there. Although my job is bloody hard work, it mostly doesn't feel like work because it invigorates and energises me. I love solving business and marketing problems. I love working with smart, highly creative thinkers and doers. I enjoy the constant tyranny of finding new and fresh solutions. In this environment, no two days feel the same. If I don't enjoy the environment that I'm in, I change it. I try never to be the victim.
This is a strict technique I have for myself. I look at my life much like climbing a ladder. As I climb it, the rungs beneath me fall away. At any point in time, I have only two choices. I can either stand still or climb higher. Going down is simply not an option. It forces me to be optimistic, to look for solutions and to find a better way.
I hope in some way this can be useful. Delaying usually solves nothing. It is difficult to be "great again". And again. And again. To invent yourself every day.
Stephen Hawking's mind has wondered to the very edge of the universe and most recently returned with advice on what to do on meeting an alien - run! What is needed is a child-like delight in the impossible and a gladiator's heart to make it happen. Every day.
As the saying goes "If not now, then when? If not you, then who?"
The sheet is blank. It's yours to write.
